Everytime You Come Home

Every day, weekend, holiday, and break when you come home I hate being me a little more. Everything that goes on in your life is suddenly more important than anybody else's. Parents make you the center of attention. Parents ask all about you but never in the past three years worried about what I have been doing with my life. No, I'm not saying that I'm jealous of this "wonderful" life you've had. You're life has been nothing but wonderful. Your life has been hard and super stressful. But, what does a girl have to do to get some interest from her parents or recognition?? Do I have to become so depressed that I threaten to kill myself with a kitchen knife? Do I have to stay with a boy for two years that emotionally tares me down in anyway possible? No? Then when will something be about anyone but you in the family? Hm? I'm sick of living here because of this very reason. What do I have to do to feel wanted? What do I have to show you people I'm doing really well in my life too? Yeah I'm not at Georgia Southern. I'm not about to graduate but my life is important too. Thank you so much family for making me feel useless. You guys are really fucking great. My mom is the one that I'm really pointing this towards. I spend everyday almost with you and you NEVER once in the day ask me how school is going or ask me what I going on with my club that I have a big part in. You know what family? Maybe, I don't really mind because every time I try to express my feelings about this very topic everyone knows exactly what is going on. You guys know that she is the golden child. She always was. She always will be. And you know what one day I won't be here and I'll always remember the lack of love I've always felt.


note: my dad is excluded from this. I love him.

Two Years For What?

Two years.
Lies.
Disappointment.
Love has been lost.
I don't think it will ever return.
Does time really heal all wounds? I cry.
Thinking of all the things we have been through, two years... Long time to be with someone.
 Felt Comfortable.
You were too comfortable.
Never went out of your way.
 Not ready for a REAL commitment.
All this talk about "forever" I can not see it.
I want a man that is loving but shows me.
He does not have to tell me.
I gave my everything to you.
You thought I would not leave because I have not.
I did yesterday.
How does it feel? To know that I don't plan on coming back...It is going to be really hard to not call you up and tell you everything.
We will both feel alone at times...but I was already alone.